Attrib. and Other Stories by Eley Williams

Author:Eley Williams [Williams, Eley]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group
Published: 2021-05-18T00:00:00+00:00

*

I mentioned all of this to my doctor in his private clinic the next morning. I told him about you, and the cafe and how all of my senses had come flooding back once you were out of sight. He took notes and looked very sympathetic as I finished and asked what he advised. Irritatingly, he did not seem to want to help me with the etiquette of the situation, however, and as I hunched on the plastic seat he shot me a look that tasted of mackerel and grapefruit. He reached for a fresh pen.

“Nothing at all?” he pressed. “You suddenly felt everything was back to normal, for a whole afternoon?”

“Everything felt abnormal,” I corrected.

“Fascinating,” he said. He looked at his computer and began typing.

“I don’t want to feel fascinating,” I said. “I want to be sure that not”—I tried to pick my words carefully—“that not having any responses like this isn’t some indicator that I’m going to blow a gasket.”

“Brushing up on your medical terminology, I see,” said my doctor. He did not look away from his screen.

“Sarcasm tastes like wet dog,” I said.

“But you felt good,” he continued. “In that moment, where you weren’t being overwhelmed on all sides?”

“It was wonderful,” I said. “Right up until—”

“And you would want to replicate it?” he said, cutting me off and looking up from his computer.

“Completely wonderful,” I repeated. I watched a few purple spangles above his head spin and pivot in the air. “And then completely terrible.”

“I see,” said my doctor, and I watched hundreds of puce, winking sequins clot and cluster around his head with genuine concern. He tapped with greater urgency at his keyboard then swivelled on his chair and handed me a piece of paper. “What are you doing this evening?”

On his prescription pad he had written the names of three films.

Three hours later my doctor was sitting in a red velvet chair next to me with his eyes trained on my face as the trailers started.

“Just pretend I’m not here,” he said. He added in a half-mutter, “Can’t believe you’ve never seen Casablanca.”

I raised my hiss to aquamarine levels so that he could hear me in the packed cinema. “Don’t you think that by observing me,” I said, “that you’ll affect any response I might have?”

He adjusted the notepad on his knee. It was difficult for him to take notes due to the darkness of the cinema. He had not been able to resist buying a carton of popcorn as we passed through the lobby either and there was not much room on his lap. “Let me worry about that,” he said, munching and staring at my pupils. He leaned a little closer over the armrest to peer at my face as the first lemon strains of the film’s opening titles began.

I did not ask him what he observed about me during the film but as the credits rolled I saw his face shimmering with an unmistakeable diamante haze. He was disappointed. A migraine raspberried in my tear ducts and my brain was ringing.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.